I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
