I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
