I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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