Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
