My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
