you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
