Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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