GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
