i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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