My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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