She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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