Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
