I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
