can we get nightvision for the apartment?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
