in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
