The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
