Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
