what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
