Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
