If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
