THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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