so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
