Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
