listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
