I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
