she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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