if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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