is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I wish I only lived at night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
