just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
