I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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