If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
