Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
