I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize