You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it's like iHOP with fire
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
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