Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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