Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
