hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Randomize
