apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
