Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
