I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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