I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
