Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
