he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
