If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
