I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think a kid would responsible me up
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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