I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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