I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
