are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
