I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
