I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I don't deserve a penis
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
