The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
